I’m starting to get really uneasy. I always get really anxious on New Year’s because I have a hard time letting go and dealing with change (even though it’s not really a change, only a digit when I’m writing the date). There’s just so much of 2010 that I’m afraid to let go of. Not all of it was good, sure, but it’s familiar. I want to stay here forever. I hate not being in control of time. I don’t like that tomorrow I can say “i’m graduating next year”. I don’t like the future.